Monday, January 31, 2011
Publishing Jitters
ACK! I finally submitted an article I wrote to a few of my literary friends for some feedback before I send to magazines to see if anyone wants to publish the thing. Wow when I first wrote it I thought "This is awesome! I bet someone pays me $500 for it!" But when I looked back today to proofread, I'm thinking the free Nashville Parent Magazine wouldn't even want it as a donation. Yikes! Yesterday the pastor at my new rocker church was talking about setting goals for our lives, and I was really reminded about how God has given me this talent and desire but I never use it for His glory. So here goes, deep breath....let's see what happens!!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Disappointed
"For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead." -1 Peter 4:3-5
Time and again Scripture emphasizes the set apartness of the believer in regards to sin. Not that a believer does not sin, but that he has been made aware of his sin and its detrimental consequences. We are told not to be surprised by the evil deeds of our neighbors, because we are in fact the suprising ones - a minority, if you will - a people who stand against what the world promotes. I am by no means perfect (just ask anyone who knows me) but there are certain things I just will not do. And yet, despite everything Scripture has to say about Satan being the "prince of this world" I am still shocked and saddened by the choices people make. I know God must feel the same way toward me. It's difficult to watch a friend engage in practices that are ruining her life. As an outsider looking in, I can see the long term consequences of those choices, and they are indeed self-destructive. My loving words of warning are met with attitude, and I wonder how many times God has said "Don't." and I've responded with a big "Whatever." It is a mournful thing to stand helplessly by as a loved one destroys themselves. I won't be the one to say "I told you so." Instead I'll say "I still love you. You can choose a new path right now." Isn't that what God tells me every day?
I was also reminded this weekend how hateful people can be regarding the choice I made in my husband. Though it doesn't happen very often, there are the stares, the angry eyes, the disapproving looks. The whispered words you think we can't hear. The hate you turn and teach to your children. Amazing how in America you can be gay but you can't be a biracial couple. It's almost flattering, in a way, to think that people can look at me and care enough to be hateful. I married my husband because I had never met anyone with quite the outlook on the kingdom of God that he has. I know he loves Jesus because he lives the Gospel. How could I not marry a man like that?
"Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death." -1 John 3:12-14
Time and again Scripture emphasizes the set apartness of the believer in regards to sin. Not that a believer does not sin, but that he has been made aware of his sin and its detrimental consequences. We are told not to be surprised by the evil deeds of our neighbors, because we are in fact the suprising ones - a minority, if you will - a people who stand against what the world promotes. I am by no means perfect (just ask anyone who knows me) but there are certain things I just will not do. And yet, despite everything Scripture has to say about Satan being the "prince of this world" I am still shocked and saddened by the choices people make. I know God must feel the same way toward me. It's difficult to watch a friend engage in practices that are ruining her life. As an outsider looking in, I can see the long term consequences of those choices, and they are indeed self-destructive. My loving words of warning are met with attitude, and I wonder how many times God has said "Don't." and I've responded with a big "Whatever." It is a mournful thing to stand helplessly by as a loved one destroys themselves. I won't be the one to say "I told you so." Instead I'll say "I still love you. You can choose a new path right now." Isn't that what God tells me every day?
I was also reminded this weekend how hateful people can be regarding the choice I made in my husband. Though it doesn't happen very often, there are the stares, the angry eyes, the disapproving looks. The whispered words you think we can't hear. The hate you turn and teach to your children. Amazing how in America you can be gay but you can't be a biracial couple. It's almost flattering, in a way, to think that people can look at me and care enough to be hateful. I married my husband because I had never met anyone with quite the outlook on the kingdom of God that he has. I know he loves Jesus because he lives the Gospel. How could I not marry a man like that?
"Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death." -1 John 3:12-14
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Monster, Unsweetened: A Warning to My Sugar-Free Friends
As many of you know, I have recently embarked on a journey to eliminate excess white sugar from my diet. Refined sugar robs the body of nutrients, supresses the immune system, and can even cause wrinkles to the skin. My primary reason for getting off the stuff, however, is for my own mental health. Refined sugar is also known to cause anxiety, an issue I've struggled with for some time. God is very clear in His Word that we are not to be "anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Phil. 4:6). Scripturally this is handled through faith in God, and by a laying down of your own wills and desires to the Creator. And although anxiety cannot be cured any other way, I don't believe it wrong to help yourself out by removing any known physical causes. Going sugar free has been much easier than I anticipated, and I love that my energy now stays consistent throughout the day. I do feel calmer, and though I suppose only my husband could attest if this is true, I do feel that I don't freak out as much.
That said, let me warn about the weirdest physical experience I've had in a while. On Thursday of this week I traveled an hour away to another office within my company for some adoption training. I left around 9, and stopped to grab a tall mild brew from Starbucks. I didn't worry about breakfast because, seriously, how long could this really take? I expected to be done in 2 hours and perhaps meet up with some friends for lunch before I had to head back to Nashville for a Child Family Team Meeting at 3. Now, I have never experienced what it is like to be diabetic. I worked at a camp for diabetic kids once, and we were told what the children are like when they experience being "low." The kids become very angry and irritable and do not act at all like themselves until someone provides some kind of sugary snack to get their sugar level back on target. I in no way mean any disrespect, as I have friends and in-laws with diabetes, and in no way do I pretend to understand what they go through. All I can state is what I experienced and how I felt.
The training began to drag on, and although interesting, I began to have trouble listening as it went on well past lunch time. I became increasingly irritable and felt very warm. By about 1 pm I remember thinking, "If I left right now I wouldn't make it to the restaurant before I died." And indeed, that's how I felt - like I was dying. I know it sounds crazy dramatic - believe me, I felt crazy! Now 10 out of 10 people who meet me can tell I'm no scientist. But my best guess is that because I don't eat refined sugar, there's no excess sugar in my body - I have to receive it through the food I eat. I think that at this point I was really feeling the lack of sugar, and all my body was going on was straight caffeine. I dragged myself away at 1:30, knowing I had barely enough time to stop before I had to head to Nashville. As I got out on the main road, the light turned red and I had to stop. It was at this moment that I started uncontrollably crying. It was the like my body and my mind had completely separated from each other. While I was sobbing, my mind was thinking, "You have truly gone insane! You are on your way to eat! Why in the world are you crying? Stop!" But I couldn't stop. I really couldn't. I whipped into Wendy's and ordered a chicken sandwich combo. Before I made it to the highway I had devoured the fries (the new natural cut ones, love those!). When I was about 3/4 of the way done with my sandwich, my entire mood changed. I suddenly felt completely at peace. I was calm and content, as if absolutely nothing had happened at all.
The moral of the story is an empty sugar-free stomach and straight caffeine make an insane combination. I've been trying to think of a spiritual parallel for what I experienced, but nothing comes to mind. What do you think?
That said, let me warn about the weirdest physical experience I've had in a while. On Thursday of this week I traveled an hour away to another office within my company for some adoption training. I left around 9, and stopped to grab a tall mild brew from Starbucks. I didn't worry about breakfast because, seriously, how long could this really take? I expected to be done in 2 hours and perhaps meet up with some friends for lunch before I had to head back to Nashville for a Child Family Team Meeting at 3. Now, I have never experienced what it is like to be diabetic. I worked at a camp for diabetic kids once, and we were told what the children are like when they experience being "low." The kids become very angry and irritable and do not act at all like themselves until someone provides some kind of sugary snack to get their sugar level back on target. I in no way mean any disrespect, as I have friends and in-laws with diabetes, and in no way do I pretend to understand what they go through. All I can state is what I experienced and how I felt.
The training began to drag on, and although interesting, I began to have trouble listening as it went on well past lunch time. I became increasingly irritable and felt very warm. By about 1 pm I remember thinking, "If I left right now I wouldn't make it to the restaurant before I died." And indeed, that's how I felt - like I was dying. I know it sounds crazy dramatic - believe me, I felt crazy! Now 10 out of 10 people who meet me can tell I'm no scientist. But my best guess is that because I don't eat refined sugar, there's no excess sugar in my body - I have to receive it through the food I eat. I think that at this point I was really feeling the lack of sugar, and all my body was going on was straight caffeine. I dragged myself away at 1:30, knowing I had barely enough time to stop before I had to head to Nashville. As I got out on the main road, the light turned red and I had to stop. It was at this moment that I started uncontrollably crying. It was the like my body and my mind had completely separated from each other. While I was sobbing, my mind was thinking, "You have truly gone insane! You are on your way to eat! Why in the world are you crying? Stop!" But I couldn't stop. I really couldn't. I whipped into Wendy's and ordered a chicken sandwich combo. Before I made it to the highway I had devoured the fries (the new natural cut ones, love those!). When I was about 3/4 of the way done with my sandwich, my entire mood changed. I suddenly felt completely at peace. I was calm and content, as if absolutely nothing had happened at all.
The moral of the story is an empty sugar-free stomach and straight caffeine make an insane combination. I've been trying to think of a spiritual parallel for what I experienced, but nothing comes to mind. What do you think?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Intro
I always thought blogging was narcistic, even though I'm a writer, and writers by nature are narcistic. Why, I wonder, would anyone care to read my rambling, mundane, ill-composed thoughts? A published article, I could understand, with the polish of a careful editor and a printing in a magazine of interest. However, several close friends and my loving husband have inspired me to take the plunge into ego land. I don't write half as often as the right side of my brain prompts me to, but I'll do my best to update frequently. This can be the creative outlet I often supress because it seems of little use when dishes need washing and the Office is on. What do I hope for this blog? Deep thoughts. Contemplations. New ideas. I've recently discovered my deep need for quiet time at the end of the day - time to stop doing and start thinking. Time to meditate on the Word of my sweet Jesus. Perhaps this can be helpful in aiding that. What will I write about? I hope to discuss first of all what I've learned from God and how it effects my daily life. I'm sure I'll include my cooking triumphs (from scratch margarita chicken) and failures (charcoaled undercooked brownies) as well as my constant attempt at pilates, a sport I love but always seem to talk myself out of doing. My new life as a sugar-free woman, and maybe a poem or two although I'm always paranoid someone will plagiarize and make millions. And of course my writing submissions and inevitable rejections. I hope this blog will challenge me to do all the things I always just seem to talk about.
As for the name, I "borrowed" it out of a line from a Norah Jones blues song. I encourage you to check it out. And now for your reading pleasure, an excerpt from "New York City":
"And did I mention the note that I found
Taped to my locked front door
It talked about no regrets
As it slipped from my hand to the scuffed tile floor
I rode the train for hours on end
And watched the people pass me by
It could be that it has no end
Just an action junkie's lullaby
New York City
Such a beautiful disease
New York City
Such a beautiful,
Such a beautiful disease"
As for the name, I "borrowed" it out of a line from a Norah Jones blues song. I encourage you to check it out. And now for your reading pleasure, an excerpt from "New York City":
"And did I mention the note that I found
Taped to my locked front door
It talked about no regrets
As it slipped from my hand to the scuffed tile floor
I rode the train for hours on end
And watched the people pass me by
It could be that it has no end
Just an action junkie's lullaby
New York City
Such a beautiful disease
New York City
Such a beautiful,
Such a beautiful disease"
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